Karen Pickrell

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Neighborhood Watch

Writing

2 Oct

I tried to tell my mom, “Location, location, location,” but she wouldn’t listen.

And now, our new house overlooks the haunted mansion next door.

“But mom, that place looks creepy and covered in soot.”

“It’s just rustic,” she said.

“And why are some windows boarded up? What do they have to hide?”

“Oh, Sherlock. You’re so suspicious.”

Watson rolled his eyes and barked.

“I know, Watson. She’s too trusting. We have our work cut out for us.”

We gathered our surveillance supplies.

Binoculars.

Camera.

And donuts, of course.

After hours of spying, we presented our case.

“What about the eerie orange light emanating from the bedrooms?”

“It’s just the glow from a fireplace,” mom said.

But as Watson pointed out, there were no chimneys.

“There are cages in the attic.”

“Maybe they’re fond of pets,” she said.

“And why is it always dark on the third floor? Who lives there?”

“Maybe it’s just for storage.”

“Ugh. What more evidence do you need?

Ding. Dong.

“Gooooooood Evvvvvvening. Velcome to the neighborhood. My name is Count and this my flatmate, Frank.”

“I rest my case.”

24 Comments

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Comments

  1. Melissa-Jane Nguyen says

    October 25, 2021 at 2:37 am

    Such a fun story, Karen! Fabulous job at mixing creepy and funny – perfect for kids 😀

    Reply
    • karen says

      October 25, 2021 at 3:13 am

      Thank you, Melissa! I’m so glad you liked it.

      Reply
  2. Paul Roncone says

    October 24, 2021 at 1:28 pm

    Oh. Em. Gee! This was so fun! I love the allusions. Now I want to name my dog Watson! Count & Frank–classic!

    Reply
    • karen says

      October 25, 2021 at 12:33 am

      Haha. Thanks, Paul. I’d be honored if you named your dog, Watson.

      Reply
  3. Colleen O Murphy says

    October 17, 2021 at 7:58 pm

    I love this little mystery. You have done a great job developing it in so few words!

    Reply
    • karen says

      October 18, 2021 at 4:23 am

      Thank you, Colleen! I’m so glad you liked it.

      Reply
  4. Claudine Pullen says

    October 17, 2021 at 7:40 pm

    It’s great I love it.

    Reply
    • karen says

      October 18, 2021 at 4:24 am

      Thank you, Claudine!

      Reply
  5. Rosanna Montanaro says

    October 17, 2021 at 10:35 am

    Great mystery, Karen! Your story drew me in, right from the first line. Well done! Very creative! Good luck, Rosanna

    Reply
    • karen says

      October 17, 2021 at 7:28 pm

      Thank you, Rosanna! I’m so glad you liked it.

      Reply
  6. Anne Lipton says

    October 14, 2021 at 9:02 pm

    Such a charming and creative mystery! I love your ingenious notion of Sherlock as a boy, Watson as his dog, and the mom cast as a Mycroft/know-it-all/superior character. But, in the end, Sherlock is validated, and he slays the mystery, as we know he will! Or perhaps be slayed by it . . .

    Reply
    • karen says

      October 14, 2021 at 10:17 pm

      Thank you, Anne! What an insightful character analysis. I hadn’t thought of the mom cast as Mycroft.

      Reply
  7. Erin McCabe says

    October 12, 2021 at 9:11 pm

    I love this! Such a great idea from the prompt. “Location, location, location,” made me crack up!! Best of luck!

    Reply
    • karen says

      October 12, 2021 at 11:08 pm

      Thank you, Erin. I’m so glad you liked it.

      Reply
  8. Melisa Wrex says

    October 8, 2021 at 12:10 pm

    Maybe NOW Mom will listen? Probably not. Just a coincidence, she’ll say. Haha! Great story! –Melisa Wrex @mowrex (Twitter)

    Reply
    • karen says

      October 12, 2021 at 8:35 pm

      Thank you, Melisa!

      Reply
  9. Carole Barber says

    October 4, 2021 at 4:18 pm

    Hi Karen,
    I love it, the whole thing. But the ending sentence is the clincher…. dah!
    You have the talent and the sarcasm to totally pull this off.
    Nice going.

    Happy Halloween!

    Reply
    • karen says

      October 5, 2021 at 2:21 am

      Haha! Thanks, Carole! I’m so glad you liked it. It was great to hear from you!

      Reply
  10. stan says

    October 3, 2021 at 9:44 pm

    Great funny story! I love the opening line!

    Reply
    • karen says

      October 3, 2021 at 9:52 pm

      Thank you!

      Reply
  11. Katie says

    October 3, 2021 at 8:44 pm

    Oh, cute.
    Mom’s obliviousness is perfect because she’s trying to be non-judgemental but she’s missing all the clues.

    Reply
    • karen says

      October 3, 2021 at 9:43 pm

      Thank you, Katie.

      Reply
  12. herb says

    October 3, 2021 at 7:42 pm

    Great work. Loved the story

    Reply
    • karen says

      October 3, 2021 at 8:23 pm

      Thank you!

      Reply

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Karen Pickrell

Hi, I'm Karen. An author, blogger, and recovering Words With Friends addict. I write children's picture books. I also help parents empower their young adult to launch successfully into the big, wide world while developing a closer relationship with them in the process.

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